The 5 C’s for Life at Home and Work
Life lessons can come from anywhere. The 5C’s come from the basics of the basics. They are often used as guidance in thinking for foster and adoptive parents on communication. By practicing these principles, connections can be made, and collaborations can start. They require commitment so that they can become second nature to use in a crisis.
That is a lot of C’s! Let’s explore 5 others and see why they are given in the order that they are.
1. CALM- Think back to when you were in an argument about something minor and suddenly realized that you and the other person were both yelling. The moment that one of you de-escalates, the other very quickly will too. Why? Because we subconsciously will match our environment after an initial reaction. Try it out if you have doubts. If you are a parent and a child is just going off, try lowering your voice. Also, try sitting down in a calm way and see how quickly they come down. Don’t get into a shouting match; just bring yourself down. If you are deliberately doing this, you are more likely to recognize what really is wrong. True, in business, we don’t see full-out tantrums often, but things can get heated. Often about who is right and who is wrong (more on that at another time, but the short answer is probably nobody).
2. CARING- Once you are calm, you need to exhibit genuine caring or empathy. Recall how your conscious awareness of calmness can let you spot issues? Now you have an opportunity to care about the other person, to bring empathy in. That does not mean you just roll over. It, in fact, represents the opposite. It means you recognize a chance to reflect and gain another perspective. Doing that helps the other to calm.
3. CLEAR- Language is a powerful tool. You must use words and meanings from the other person. Caring allows you to do this if you start using their words and asking what they mean. Clear use of words can sometimes allow for the discovery of simple changes and move mountains in relationships.
4. CONCISE- This tends to work in tandem with Clear. Short, deliberate questions, then statements. If you are talking a lot and the other person is not ready to receive, your clear words, caring approach, and calmness mean nothing.
5. CONSISTENT- This can also be part of your personal brand. Actions speak louder than words- always. If you master the other four and fail here, you will lose the person. This does usually take time, but it doesn’t always have to. If you routinely find ways to be consistent in your approach to communication, you will find a new authentic connection to people faster. In dealing with children in the system, the only real consistent thing they know is broken promises. It turns out no one likes that, and it is the glue that brings the others together and can often bridge gaps to allow for playfulness.